It's so easy to feel offended by something someone has said or done at the office and to hold onto it for what seems a lifetime. We often can't choose the people we work with and feel trapped and frustrated when there is someone we simply don't like and can't get along with. You can't go from one job to the next until you find Utopia - it doesn't exist in the workplace. Instead of being a victim, become a victor by doing something positive about it. It means having to step out of your comfort zone. Being kind is a choice we make - being nasty however, is also a choice we make. Choose to start working on your inner peace today - by changing your behaviour towards others.

Display the behaviour you expect from others. In other words, if you want respect from someone, then show them respect. If you want others to have compassion for you, then show compassion to them. Intimate relationships work on the same principal. If you want trust, love and respect from your spouse or partner, then you must display those behaviours to them. It works like a boomerang - it comes back! Once you 'get' that, you will understand the basics of building relationships with anyone. Your interaction with people will improve dramatically.

TIPS ON HOW TO BUILD LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

	Treat everyone as equals. No matter what their position in the organisation. Act as though you believe this every day and you will attract strong and successful relationships.
	Keep your intention in mind in all your dealings with others. If you find yourself feeling spiteful or resentful, let go of that and decide to be kind. Being good-natured and co-operative is a choice.
	Always say less than you think.
	When you’re with someone, be with them fully. Give them all your attention. Celebrate when they celebrate and show compassion when they’re down.
	Be considerate of other people’s feelings and consider the effect your words will have on them.
	Don’t make too many promises and keep the ones you do make.
	Show genuine interest in other people’s lives, family and pursuits.
	Give constructive feedback – only if you have the right to. Don’t be spiteful or hurtful.
	Have a good attitude and be cheerful. People avoid depressed, negative people.
	Don’t be argumentative. You may disagree without being disagreeable.
	Be considerate of other people’s feelings.
	Do not pay attention to what gossip-mongers say about you. Simply live so that nobody will believe them.
	Don’t get upset if you don’t get the recognition you want or credit when you feel it’s due. Keep doing your best – for yourself. Success is about you and your own achievements. It’s not something you should rely on from others.
	Tell others what you need and listen to what they need.
	Always be totally professional. Don’t get involved in company politics and never gossip. That way people will trust you and they will know that the information they share with you is safe.
	Spend time with your allies. Be available. Strategise, ask for opinions and advise and make sure that you occasionally have lunch together.
	Remember, what you put out is what you can expect in return – if you want respect, then show respect. If you want kindness, then show kindness, be an ally if you want alliance in return.
	Don’t fight your colleagues on small issues if you need them for much bigger support later.
	Keep your word. If you say you will do something – do it.
	Resolve issues and conflicts with people. Let them know that you have forgiven them or ask their forgiveness if you were at fault – and move on.
	Never back-stab anyone or go over their heads to their boss or your boss. Go directly to the person involved and sort out the problem or issue.

Building relationships take time and effort and is extremely rewarding. You have to be prepared to commit yourself and expect not to always get what you want. Building bridges is one of the most fundamental and crucial of all strategies when climbing the corporate ladder. Successful people make it their business to build relationships and to heal broken ones.

By Elsabé Manning