“Do as you wish and experience the result of that…” Anon

Consequential thinking is pro-active behaviour which stems from emotional intelligence – it is about considering the consequences of our thoughts, feelings and actions before acting. It allows us to make choices and decisions that will produce the best possible outcomes and results. Far too often our need for instant gratification leads to thoughts like: “I’ll cross that bridge when I get there...” In other words, “I want what I want… and I want it now - I’ll deal with the consequences later.” We need to learn to delay gratification when the consequences are undesirable and / or painful.

We make countless unconscious decisions every day. What we should eat; what we should wear; what we should watch on television etc. Those decisions are made unconsciously based on our patterns, habits and our personal priorities. Our choices shape who we are. In order to ‘live’ integrity, we need to consider the cost and benefits of all our actions and align our actions with our intentions.

Not only do we have the intelligence to process and manipulate ideas, but we also we have the intelligence to understand and use our emotions. The scientific definition of emotional intelligence is recognising, understanding and managing our emotions.

Emotional intelligence is the capacity to get the best possible results from our relationships with our self and with others. It is a deep awareness of the following:

Self-awareness - understanding how we function;

Self-management - choosing our thoughts, feelings, and actions;

Self-direction - using empathy and principled decision-making to increase wisdom and to create a more compassionate, healthy world.

Understanding Your Emotions

Learn to recognise your own emotions at increasing levels of detail. If you can identify the emotion you are feeling you will be better equipped to respond appropriately to it. The eight primary emotions are fear, joy, acceptance, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise and anticipation. We need to begin to understand the causes and effects of our emotions. It also helps us understand our own behaviour - the interaction of thought, feeling and action.

Manage Your Emotions

Instead of suppressing feelings like anger, joy or fear we need to slow down our reactions to them so that we have time to choose productive responses and decisions. There is a school of thought that suggests that emotions make us less effective. This is not true. What makes us less effective is being emotional when we choose responses because when we are emotional we are controlled by the emotion instead of being in control of it - by managing it. Our feelings are very important because they provide the insight we need in order to make our decisions. Managing our emotions means that we engage both heart and mind in order to choose productive solutions.

Your Motivation Or Reward For Making Good Choices

We take action when it feels right to do so. We need to find our motivation or reward within ourselves - otherwise we become dependent on feedback from others and our own motivation or reward for taking certain action can easily be forgotten. When we find our validation within ourselves we create inner-strength and the power to continuously grow and to become and remain true to ourselves.

Start Recognising Your Own Behavioural Patterns

The human brain follows patterns. (Neural pathways) Stimulus are responses that motivate or encourage [us to repeat the behaviour until it becomes habitual] the neural pathways to become bigger and stronger and it grows from being a narrow road to a highway and the highway eventually becomes a six-lane expressway. Once a habitual pattern is well established it requires extraordinary measures or intervention to change the established habit. The patterns include thinking, feeling and acting in a continuous cycle. Throughout our lives we learn how to cope; how to get our needs met and how to survive. These strategies (learnt coping mechanisms and habits) reinforce one another and we develop a complex structure of beliefs to support the validity of these behaviours. This system of patterns often serves us well but it also leads us to unconsciously sabotage ourselves.

What self-defeating habits do you have?

Become And Remain Optimistic

How bright or worthwhile is your future? Our perceptions of the future determine our views about the present. Optimistic thinking immediately enhances our lives.

Become More Empathic

Empathy is the ability to recognise and respond to the emotions of others and to feel their pain. Start listening to others with your heart!

Pursue Your Dreams And Goals

Through pursuing our dreams and goals and daily acts of human kindness, we validate ourselves by creating a profound legacy. Our personal priorities and goals shape our daily and long-term choices by giving us direction.

BY ELSABÉ MANNING

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