Having good manners is one of the prerequisites of professionalism. One’s behaviour is a reflection of your upbringing, education, values and principals, the organisation you work for and the company you keep.

Be true to yourself

If you can’t be true to yourself, you will never be true to others. In other words, don’t change your values and principals to suit the circumstances or people. Remain in your truth.

Responsibility

Do what you are supposed to do.
Be accountable for your choices and actions.

Gratitude

Send thank-you-notes or phone to thank others when they have been good to you. Showing gratitude will help you to build lasting relationships. Show gratitude to life, nature and to God.

Give…

Your undivided attention.
Praise.
Warm greeting.
Sympathy.
Love.
Good news.
Respect.
Support.
The truth.
Your best.
What you owe.
Back what you borrowed.
Generously.
Without expecting anything in return.

Be humble

Always exercise restraint and good taste.
Don’t brag about yourself in any way.
Let your deeds speak for you.
Dress and behave well.

Listen – then speak

Listening to others is a way to show respect.
Show genuine interested in others.
Listen and encourage others to talk about themselves.
Don’t interrupt or argue.

Be kind

Before speaking to others, consider what effect your words will have. Watch your intention and rather remain quiet than intentionally saying something that will hurt or wound others.

Don’t criticise or complain

A person with good manners won’t criticise others or complain about circumstances.
Avoid gossip. If you can’t change the subject, remain indifferent. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Trustworthiness

Be honest. Don’t deceive, cheat or steal. Be reliable. Keep your promises.
Have the courage to do the right thing. Build a good reputation.
Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country.

Be reliable

Always be on time.
If you’re running late, let the other party know by making a quick phone call.
Arriving early for a social engagement is also not good – your host may still be preparing for the event.
Don't overstay your welcome.

Be respectful

Treat others with respect.
Never demean anyone with rude jokes.
Never ask embarrassing questions.
Don’t use bad language.
Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone.
Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements.

Always look and behave your best

Be a calming influence in stressful situation and maintain your composure.
Master self-control and have empathy for others.
Always act with courtesy and politeness.
Dress your very best every day.
Strive for understated elegance.
Your home, car and workplace should be tidy, neat and well organised.

Table manners

Table manners are extremely important. Observe rules of proper conduct, such as not speaking with food in your mouth and don’t eat until the host has been seated and everyone has been served.
Put a serviette on your lap before eating.
Eat slowly, with a closed mouth.
Rest your knife and fork on the side of the plate between bites.
If you are having wine, sip it slowly with your food and don’t drink too much.
If you’re a guest in a restaurant, don’t order the most expensive meal and remember the host orders the wine.
Don’t complain about the food or criticise the choice of restaurants.
Arrive on time and don’t leave too early or overstay your welcome.

Alcohol and drugs

Never drink alcohol during a business lunch if you have to return to your office or if it will offend someone you’re with – like a client or your boss.
Mind-altering substances like drugs, even legal medication, can destroy your chances at work.

Be a good citizen

Do your share to make your community better and cooperate with neighbours and the authorities.
Get involved in community affairs and stay well informed.
Be a good neighbour.
Obey laws and rules.
Protect the environment.

Be a courteous motorist

Be friendly, polite and helpful on the road.
Don’t lose self-control when others don’t behave well on the road. Remain calm and in control. Road rage is a no-no.

Bad language and crudeness

Don’t tell crude jokes.
Swearing, cursing and crudeness is unprofessional and unsavoury.

Open-plan or shared office

Unpleasant behaviour in an open-plan or shared office can turn allies into enemies.
Always keep your voice down, your nose out of others’ business and your comments to yourself.
Do not join in a conversation simply because you can hear what others are saying.
Make your private calls in private or outside the office on your cell phone.
Do not repeat anything you inadvertently over-hear.
Have your meetings in a boardroom or somewhere private.
Do not raise your voice or shout to someone across the office – walk right up to the person you wish to speak to and keep your voice down.

Gossip

We can offer many reasons why we "pass on" information about others. We may even feel justified in doing so. However, the bottom line is that gossiping is a hurtful activity.
Before passing on information about others, ask yourself, "Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary?" If the answer is "no" to any of these questions, don’t repeat it.

Money

Don’t borrow money unless it is a real emergency and you are in a position to pay it back almost immediately.
Don’t discuss your debts, income or raises with anyone.
Don’t tell anyone what you paid for items and don’t ask anyone what they paid for anything.
Don’t show off your cash or credit cards.
Give generously to the needy.
Be fair to your staff.

By Elsabé Manning

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