INTRODUCTION TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the non-cognitive skills and competencies we need to successfully communicate and interact with people in our daily lives.
Such insight allows us to manage our own and other’s emotions and to read, understand and manage our own and others’ emotional states and to guide thinking and actions.
People with higher EQ tolerate stress better and they have higher levels of impulse control. They also tend to be more flexible and realistic and to solve a range of problems as they arise. Emotional Intelligence allows us to maintain a positive attitude, particularly in the face of adversity and to feel satisfied with life.
Low emotional intelligence is one of the biggest causes of conflict in the workplace and in people’s personal lives. Organisations that employ staff with higher levels of EQ have a distinct advantage because there is less conflict and more co-operation among them.
The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned, and transferred to others, especially by leaders such as HR Managers with high EQ who lead by example.
Low EQ is any manager’s worst nightmare because unhealthy levels of EQ in the workplace usually produce poor listeners and right-fighters (people who cannot possibly be wrong.) They will bully anyone who opposes their ‘no-gray-area’ thinking. People with low EQ are self-centered and petty. They take everything personally and have low tolerance for frustration, which leads to short-fuse behaviour, and if they happen to be in management they will use every opportunity to ‘power-trip.’ Power-tripping is an attempt to elevate one’s own low self-esteem and feelings of powerlessness by putting others down. Bullies and gossipers suffer from extreme low self-esteem.
The resulting behaviours of low emotional intelligence are:
- Temper tantrums
- Mood swings
- Inability to take criticism
- Inability to forgive
- Inappropriate dependence on others
- Being easily influenced
- Making over-hasty judgements
- Fear of change
- Need for immediate attention
- Needing instant gratification
- Superficial values
- Lack of or poor social skills
- Inability to control finances
- Being demanding
- Being inappropriately competitive
- Lack of responsibility
- Being insensitive to other people’s needs and feelings
- Lacking empathy
- Low self-esteem
- Frequent ‘fishing’ for compliments
- Needing validation from others
People with low emotional intelligence tend to have problems with communication which leads to conflict, misunderstandings and worse, broken relationships as a result of back-stabbing, bullying, manipulative tactics, coercion, victim behaviour, arrogance, blame and gossiping.
Arrogance, blame, coercion and victim behaviour are indicators of low EQ because the result is always the same – refusal to accept responsibility for unproductive behaviour and/or mistakes.
1. Emotional Intelligence Self-Assesment (self-assessment questionaire);
2. Interpersonal (self-awareness and self-expression):
a. Self-Regard (being aware of, understanding and accepting ourselves in spite of our flaws and shortcomings);
b. Emotional Self-Awareness (being aware of and understanding our emotions);
c. Assertiveness (expressing our feelings and ourselves non-destructively);
d. Independence (being self-reliant and free of emotional dependency on others);
e. Self-Actualisation (setting and achieving goals to actualise our own potential);
3. Interpersonal (social awareness and interaction):
a. Empathy (being aware of and understanding how others feel);
b. Social Responsibility (identifying with and feeling part of our social groups);
c. Interpersonal Relationship (establishing mutually satisfying relationships);
4. Stress management (emotional management and control):
a. Stress Tolerance (effectively and constructively managing our emotions);
b. Impulse Control (effectively and constructively controlling our emotions);
5. Adaptability(change management):
a. Reality Testing (validating our feelings and thinking with external reality);
b. Flexibility(coping with and adapting to change in our daily life);
c. Problem Solving (generating effective solutions to problems of an intrapersonal and interpersonal nature);
6. General mood (self-motivation):
a. Optimism (having a positive outlook and looking at the brighter side of life);
b. Happiness (feeling content with ourselves, others and life in general);
- Assess their own Emotional Intelligence levels;
- Learn how to recognise and manage their own and others’ emotions;
- Learn what empathy is and how to apply it in all their relationships;
- Introspect and accept responsibility for their thoughts, words and actions;
- Become more self-aware and begin to pay attention to their inner states;
- Learn why they lose motivation and how to get it back;
- Learn how to communicate with EI – especially during conflict;
- Commit to manage their own unproductive behaviours and better understand and know what to do about others’ unproductive behaviours;
- Learn how to recognise and manage their stress better;
- Learn what assertiveness is and how to apply it;
- Learn how to become more adaptable to change and flexible;
- Accept responsibility for their own happiness, attitude and moods.
One day course: Delegates gain a very good understanding of and they learn how to apply emotional intelligence. Delegates introspect and resolve to change and grow;
Two day course: A lot more discussion around topics, focus on introspective exercises and the application of delegates’ emotional intelligence;
Three day course: The third day of the three-day course is focussed on introspection. Delegates are given a second workbook which they have to work through by themselves. They may choose to shred the workbook afterwards. The facilitator is present throughout the day and spends one-on-one time with each delegate (in a private break-away room) to counsel and coach anyone who may need it. This three-day course is extremely valuable to delegates and we are very proud of the outcomes we achieve with any one of the three courses.